I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
