thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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