a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
