hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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