worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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