did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
