i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
