But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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