Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
