I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
