The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
