I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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