Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
