There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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