she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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