That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
