Where is the hickey?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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