wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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