you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
