Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
