I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
