Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
