Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
