I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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