therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
