how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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