i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
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