Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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