dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
