We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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