y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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