Me too!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
