please come you make the beer taste better
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
