No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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