Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I look better un-naked...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I cut my penus on the lid.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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