When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
