i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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