If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
