Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
