Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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