Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
