Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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