i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
