Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
