I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
