He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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