Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
