At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
