they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
