tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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