At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
